in the lull
i've been slightly over-whelmed with reading others' blogs, following their links and investigating the makers and designers and crafters that they follow. martha has a nice list here...and here. and of course i have already mentioned megan's series of posts from savanah. and then there is margaux's recent recap of the ACC show, which goes into many details that i failed to articulate - and brings another layer of memories to my own recollections.
i don't know about you, but when i start thinking too much it begins to paralyze me. "i think i think too much" i go through waves though - sometimes i just move and grow and act and make without thinking - intuitive progress. that usually gets me to a point where i need to stop and reflect on things - adapt and adjust the details to more adequately articulate an idea or perfect a function. this is all fine and good.
right now, i seem to be swimming in a different place though - the one where i become numb to myself - second-guessing and insecure. it is a dreadful feeling --- but i've also learned that it comes when i am at an integral point (a crossroads) - it comes when i realize that i must make some important decisions about how i am going to move forward, when i know that the decision i ulitmately make will have great impact on me, my family and the way my work (my business) will grow .....
i don't know if it is harder to go out on a limb for something or to sit back and not attempt it. it would seem easier to sit back, to not put yourself on the line -- but in my life, in my mind, in my heart it is always harder for me to hold back, to not put it all out there. that's not to say i haven't gotten hurt by doing so, but man, those lessons run deep and the experiences are vivid. as i grow older, the debate has been less about whether or not to do it (although maybe it should be) but rather about the best way to go about doing it. and for a designer, who is meant to determine all the possible ways, it sure gets confusing at times. i've also learned that it helps to talk to other people and to get alternative views -- but ultimately i already know what i need to do. i already know the path to be taken ... it is there, under the distractions and worries and superficialities (word??) it is always there, waiting for me.
so, in the meantime.......
this is a necklace that i whipped-up from remnants - to wear as an everyday sort of necklace. i've been wearing it for a week and admit i love wearing it and have had good responses from random people around town. i may need to do some more playing around.